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Not What But Who – Defining Who You Are

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Who are you? You are not defined by ‘what’ you do, you are defined by ‘who’ you are. One is easy to explain and the other is very difficult. Why? Because we spend time telling people ‘what’ we do. It is sometimes the first (or somewhere in conversation) question asked at a dinner party or gathering, “So what do you do?” and then you politely tell the company and position.

If you think about it, it is a rather superficial interaction and we have been programmed to do this because of the narrative we have lived most of our life. Right from preschool where we asked, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” and we picked honourable positions such as an astronaut, doctor, police or something that is interesting and exciting. Eventually, when in high school, practicality sets in and now we have to make the big people decisions of going to post-secondary or trades and pick something. Sometimes this decision is made because of what might interest us or the opposite where we pick something because we know what we don’t want. Either way, we go through education and try to feel our way through the darkness of what we call a career journey.

Let me share an example of a journey that is all too common. I will share finance (but you can replace this with any type of career). In university, a student does an entry level finance course and gets an ‘A’. Well, that was a good experience, right!? Then the student feels that finance might be a good choice to move forward in and the journey begins. They do more courses, Co-op job opportunities and maybe gets a job in a bank and financial institution. Upon graduation, a company hires them as a front line customer service rep at a bank because they did a good job. Five years in, maybe now a supervisor, five years there, transfer to business banking, five years there, maybe a supervisor of the department, ten years later, a regional manager…but was this right journey? It made sense because of the progression, but was this what you were deemed to do or instead what programmed you to move forward out of convenience? I am not saying this is wrong or that one should think before getting into finance or based on what I am sharing that you have to leave your position. No, what I am asking is that one should lay a foundation early on before proceeding along.

What is important is to lay down a foundation of what are five things that you are not willing to compromise in life and career and to do it early. This enables you to actually see the journey unfold before you. What matters to you and makes sense? By taking the time to reflect and build on what resonates, it will help guide you through life and career…note I said life and career and not just career. Don’t worry, you can change the five things that matter to you as you go through life. Don’t try and line it up to the job but rather ask yourself, “What am I not willing to give up.” Maybe your first job hits one out of five of these points. That is alright because you then try and see what is missing and try to build in more aspects that matter to you.

So how do you come up with these five areas you are not willing to compromise? Ask yourself what you enjoy and don’t enjoy in life. It could be classes, jobs or things you do in your spare time. Maybe write a personal statement where you share who you are and not just what you do. In the personal statement, write what makes you tick, what are you excited about, what is important to you and it helps align to your journey. A quote I think resonates here, “Instead of holding a compass to try and find your way, be the needle in the compass and you will find the way.” There is a lot of noise out there telling you what to do, listen to the voice within as it is telling you what is important.

For more information, there is a TEDx I did and here is a link: TEDx – Your Five Core Elements


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