If you come pay me a visit and you tell me about what is going on in your life or you need a change, what you will notice is that I listen attentively. What I am doing is going to my virtual story cache and will apply stories that relate to what you tell me. One other thing that I may do is to stop the conversation on occasion to replace words. Over the years, there are instances that this happens and it really is about perspectives and changing the word which changes the focus.
The first word that I notice which is used freely is ‘failure’. Too many people use this word way too often without understanding the true meaning. Professionals will say that failure is important and students will tell me that they failed to reach an objective. If something did not go right and you are left with something that did not work out, replace the word ‘failure’ with ‘setback’. You might think they are the related; however, while they might sound similar, they are very different. Failure is final and you go down a path of regret. Setback, on the other hand, is a situation where you pick yourself up, look at what did not work out and understand why, dust yourself off and you are wiser for the experience. It means moving forward rather than stopping.
Another word that needs attention is ‘problem’. In those instances where the word problem is used, I often ask why is it a problem and could you not replace it with another word called possibility. When you use the word problem, you stop because you can’t move forward and you dwell because it is a problem. I think that if you consider it a problem, you miss the bigger part which is the opportunity to resolve it. Last year when I was working on my year long blog – www.sams50-50.com and in November (11 months into my year long project) a hacker went in and killed my blog. A problem no doubt; however, I took this and started to look for opportunities and after collecting all my posts, I had 94 pages and 40,000 words. I now have a book on my hands. Over and over again, I try to find the possibilities and opportunities over the limitations and problems.
Problems are just masked opportunities that we need to discover and realize. You see a problem, I see an opportunity. A failure is also just a setback not realized and not as deadly as you first imagined. As long as you are open to the new words and don’t dwell, you can overcome these obstacle makers. Keep in mind that there are likely other words that you say that you might want to capture and change. The words that you catch yourself using all the time, becomes your anchor from moving forward and you really have to hear yourself so you discover those limiting words. If that is the case, find a replacement word and start using that. You would be amazed that once you start changing your words, you also change your attitude and focus.
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